When Robert “Sam” talks about coming to AgeMaine’s Adult Day Program at the Sam L. Cohen Center, he talks about his friends. “I know I need to be here,” he says. “I know I need the friends there, and they need me, too.”
For his wife, Jeanne, hearing those words means a great deal. After six months in the program, Sam has found a place where he feels comfortable, connected, and happy to spend the day. As his caregiver, Jeanne has found room in her own days to reconnect with friends, knowing he is somewhere he wants to be.
“The support has been life changing,” she says.
Their life together began with a summer romance. Sam lived across the street from Jeanne’s grandmother’s house, in a close Irish community where neighbors knew one another and looked after each other. When Jeanne graduated from college, she invited him to a celebration. He came along and danced with her and her friends. “That was the seed that was planted,” Jeanne remembers.
That summer romance became a marriage of 52 years, three children, and a busy family life. Jeanne spent 28 years teaching, including middle and high school math. Sam, a natural salesman who loved to talk, spent 40 years running his own business buying, selling, and brokering trailers and ocean containers. “We had many happy years,” Jeanne says. “I was teaching, he was working, our kids were involved. We had a great life.”
They worked as a team through those years. When Sam was diagnosed with dementia about five and a half years ago, their partnership began to take a different shape. Alongside being his wife, Jeanne took on the responsibilities of caregiving, helping him navigate changes in his memory and daily life.
Sam served in the Army during the Vietnam War. His experiences there have stayed with him, and post-traumatic stress has been a daily challenge. As Jeanne supported him through changes in his memory and behavior, it became difficult to step away without worrying about how he was doing. Making plans for herself meant first knowing that Sam would be safe, comfortable, and cared for.
A doctor at the VA recommended AgeMaine’s Adult Day Program. Even with that encouragement, the first visit brought strong emotions. Jeanne remembers sitting in the car and crying. Being able to come inside and see the program helped. She saw how the staff welcomed members, how patient they were, and how comfortably people spent time together.
“I was pleasantly surprised,” she says. “The Adult Day Program at the Sam L. Cohen Center is a really nice place.”
For Sam, who has always needed conversation and activity, the friendships have made a particular difference. He looks forward to Thursdays at the center, spending time with other members and joining in the day’s activities. Connecting with fellow Vietnam veterans has given him opportunities to talk with people who understand experiences that have been difficult to discuss.
Jeanne sees pride and understanding in those connections. She also sees the care staff put into helping each person feel at home. One day, Irish music filled the room. Members were singing, laughing, and moving their feet to the music. Sam came out smiling. “He’s happy when he goes, and he’s happy when I pick him up,” Jeanne says. “That’s new.”
Knowing that has made a difference in her life, too, giving her time away from the daily responsibilities of caregiving. Jeanne recently met three childhood friends for lunch, women she has known for 65 years. She also visited the botanical gardens with a neighbor. Before the program, she says, she would have been too worried about Sam to enjoy those outings. Now, she can leave knowing he is safe and having a good time. With the AgeMaine team sharing in his care, she can take care of her own needs and spend time with people she loves.
Jeanne is considering adding more days to Sam’s schedule at AgeMaine’s Adult Day Program. She appreciates the balance of activity, conversation, and quiet time, and the patience of staff members, including Kate, the nurse. “I don’t know what the magic at AgeMaine is, but it works!” she says. “The magic dust is there.”
For the Jeanne and Sam, that difference is felt in everyday moments: a lunch with old friends, a room full of music, a smile at pickup, and Sam knowing that he has friends who look forward to seeing him, too.
Learn more about our Adult Day Programs here: Adult Day Programs – AgeMaine
